It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much my creativity means to me. I love being creative whether it’s in the writing I do, the crafting, or even my job. I constantly have to be creating something, or coming up with new ideas and plans. It’s how I’m wired. If I can’t be actively doing that I shut down. It’s one of those things that keeps me going, helps me get out of bed in the morning, knowing that I get to create something that day. This discovery also made me realize that one of my biggest fears is that one day I will run out of ideas or creativity. I’ve always been afraid in every job I’ve ever had of becoming irrelevant or unneeded, worried about that one day I can’t think of anything new. These are probably irrational fears but I still worry.
I think this is one of the reasons I don’t like my second job. There’s not room for me to use my creativity or to come up with and implement new ideas. It’s retail, and I’m a cashier. It doesn’t spark anything in me or make me want to improve anything. I don’t feel needed. If I left, there would be no hole that couldn’t be filled. This probably makes me sound conceited or full of myself but that’s not my intention. One of the reason I enjoy creating and brainstorming is because in the end it’s always to improve someone or something and that’s one of the greatest rewards I could have from a job.
In my first job, the one I first got when I moved back the D, I can be creative and create new ideas or plans. Yes, sometimes I feel stifled and not free to sort of run wild with things but that’s always going to be the case when you’re working for someone else. If I really want true freedom, I’ll need to start my own business, which I am very tempted to do.
What about you guys. Do you feel like your job is stifling your creative freedom?