If you can’t tell by the title, yes I have been sick. Have been for the past week, which is why I haven’t posted in awhile. The first couple days I was sick I did nothing but sleep, go to work and read. I mostly slept. Work was interesting since part of my job is answering phones, and the second and third day of being sick I had like no voice. I am much better now though.
While I was sick I did a lot of random thinking especially late at night when I was coughing to much to sleep. I don’t even remember half the stuff that was going through my brain, I was to out of it from all the meds I was taking. There were several times where I got into that semi depressive mood you get when your sick. Maybe that just happens to me, but I especially get this way when I’m having throat issues because I used to get strep throat all the time and so anytime I get a sore throat I freak out. Especially if it starts to feel like my throat is swelling which it did feel that way at one point.
What with that and just the usual feelings of gloom you get when you’re sick, I was feeling pretty down and out. I didn’t realize until a few years ago that I’m one of those people that suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’m usually okay near the beginning of the season, definitely through December because of Christmas but once January hits or whenever winter really starts hitting hard I can feel the difference. I can especially tell how much it’s affecting me when we have one of those random sunny days and my mood is suddenly 20 times better.
So yeah I’ve been in a mood. It’s still kind of there but I’m trying to stay out of it. It would probably help if I found something to do with myself. I mean it’s not like I sit around all day doing nothing. I have a to do list. I’m very proud of my to do list and I strive to get everything on there checked off which doesn’t happen to often because there’s only so much time in the day. It really is something I take pride in though because I love lists, especially check lists. There’s nothing like that feeling of checking something off a list once you’ve completed. Even if I do something that wasn’t on a list I created, I will add it to the list just so I can check it off. I get such a thrill.
One thing I’ve always struggled with from time to time is introvert guilt, I guess you could call it. Basically I have times were I feel bad for the fact that I like a lot of alone time, and that things I like doing are sometimes considered time wasters by other people. To give you an example I’m going to show you what I have on my list and explain it to you:
- Exercise: Pretty self explanatory, and one that I have not done in the past two weeks since I made this master to do list.
- Writing: I am a writer, that’s what I went into in college and that’s all I really want to do with my life. So I have to set aside time to do that.
- Reading: I love reading, and since college I’ve let it slide to much. College kind of ruined me for reading for a bit, because of all the required reading you had to do. But it’s also something I need to make sure I do as a writer, because I can’t be a writer if I don’t read.
- Chores: This is more just to make sure that I don’t let my room turn into a pigsty and it’s there as a reminder to try and help out around the house occasionally.
- Blog: Obviously this is for blogging here, got to keep up on that.
- Crafting: I’m a big crafter, I love crafting. I crochet, knit, scrapbook, cross-stitch, lot’s of stuff. I like doing things with my hands and this makes for a good break from all the other stuff on my list.
- Class Planning: I currently teach classes for a homeschool group. It’s the group I went to through middle school and highschool and my little sister and brother still go there. So far I’ve just taught Preschool but next session I’m teaching a Star Wars Class and Crochet so I have a lot of planning to do.
- Wedding Stuff: Not for me :p This is to set aside time to work on things for my sister’s wedding. Because I am the Maid of Honor I am planning the Bridal Shower and I have big plans, so there’s a lot to do there.
- Job Search: I added this on as a reminder to try and occasionally put out job applications, because I needs to find a better job.
So all of these take up most of my day, when I’m not at work that is. When you look at most of them they’re kind of things that people look at as just recreational, stuff you do when you have free time. But for me a lot of that stuff isn’t. I mean writing is what I want my career to be so I have to spend time doing it, and reading is something I need to do to help strengthen my writing. Crafting is something that keeps me sane and is something I’d actually like to do professionally (my sister and I are considering opening an Etsy store). As for class planning that is something I have committed to doing, it’s volunteer work and I have always done some sort of volunteer work for as long as I can remember, I like volunteering. And just because I’m not getting paid, doesn’t mean I will shirk my work. Job searching is important and time consuming. Blogging is up there with writing. And I am really enjoying planning the Bridal Shower for my sister, I love planning things. Sometimes I think I should have gone into event planning.
I guess in the end I just need to keep reminding myself that there’s a reason why I do each of these things and because they’re important to me that makes them worth doing and taking a good amount of time to do them. Right now I’m struggling actually getting each thing on the list done. Most of my time is spent class planning because the next session is coming up and I’m teaching two classes.
Man this was a long post, I’m sorry about that. I guess I had a lot to say since it’s been so long since I last posted. I’ll try and be more careful with my next post.