There are many misconceptions about introverts. You could write a book about it and I’m sure several people have. The misconception I would like to debunk however, is that we are reclusive. We never like to go outside. Just the mere sight of people burns our skin and we turn into moody, angsty, un-sociable beings. We’re actually the inspiration behind the vampires of Twilight. (Not really. I would murder Edward in my sleep if I could, because it would be that easy)
While it is true that we need time alone to recharge, get our bearings, recoup, whatever you want to call it. That doesn’t mean that’s the only thing we ever want to be doing. Yeah you could probably say we would rather have a good say 75% of our time spent in solitude but that stills leaves 25%. Besides every introverts definition of solitude differs and for some it may be more or less than 75%.
- For me I need a good 50% of my time to be solitude and I don’t mean completely cut off from the world, I just mean close my door and no one bother me until I emerge and when I do I may not want to do any activities, maybe just pop in a movie.
- The next say 35% would be personal time. Meaning time spent with people I’m close to and only them.
- The remaining 15% is time I am willing to give to other ventures. Things outside my comfort zone, or having to hang out with people I don’t know.
Let me explain this further.
This past Sunday I had a very good day. I had an appointment with my sister and her bridesmaids at David’s Bridal to try on bridesmaids dresses (I’m the maid of honor). Before the appointment, myself, Colette and we’ll say Bridesmaid #1 went out to lunch at a Sushi place. We had a good time talking about work, life, my sister’s bachelorette party. It was nice. After that we headed over to David’s Bridal and met up with Bridesmaid #2. We tried on dresses and had a good time. To every one dress the other two girls tried on, I would try on like four. I don’t mess around when it comes to trying on clothes. If I don’t like it, I’m out of it.
After the appointment, in which we did find our dresses, we went to get some ice cream. We chatted for a bit and then Bridesmaid #1 parted ways with us, while Bridesmaid #2 came with my sister and I to go see the movie Selma with my mom and grandma’s. After the movie we went out for dinner at a Chinese Buffet. All in all it was a very enjoyable evening.
Now this may not seem like part of the 15%, but it is because I don’t know the bridesmaids very well, so they don’t fall into my close to me circle, not yet anyway. I hadn’t had a day like this in a long time and it was way over due. I need days like that occasionally otherwise I get a little depressed. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been able to find a good balance between solitude, personal time, and we’ll call it sharing time. Most of my time falls under solitude, but my solitude is constantly interrupted by family since I live at home now.
The reason I started thinking about this idea that people have about introverts being recluses, came because of a conversation I had with my sister while we were driving to drop Bridesmaid #2 off at her house after dinner. We were talking about my job and I had mentioned how right now my dream job would just be something where I get to like work in the backroom of a business away from people. We then went into what my future would be and my sister said I would wind up being one of those stereotypical writer recluses. The ones who work at night in a backroom and then come home write, sleep, write again and then go to work. I would only step out of my home when forced for family holidays and I would own a pet. Except I wouldn’t own a pet, because I don’t like pets.
I of course agreed with her, it sounded very tempting and very me, except it left out that 35% where I do enjoy people’s company, just people that I like.
“I like people. I just like people that I like.” Me to my sister when I tried to explain to her how I don’t like people but I do.
It’s kind of ironic that I currently work in a customer service/sales person type job and yet I really don’t like people. I mean one of my facebook statuses recently was, “do you ever have one of those days were just the sight and sound of people makes you want to punch somebody in the face.”
I’m probably just proving everyone’s point about introverts, but I really do like being around people and going out and doing things. Just not all the time and I prefer to do things with people I like and I very rarely feel the need to grow the small pool of people I like and I’m okay with that. I don’t need a large group. It is hard though when a lot of the people that fall into your like circle all live either out of state or on the other side of the state. Oh well, maybe I’ll be the one moving away someday but that’s a story for another day.