Welcome to the Freight Train

Wow, it has been a very long time since I blogged. Much, much to long. I have another blog that I started about a year ago. It ended up being more of a gluten free recipes blog, which was fine, but not the only thing I want to write about. I kind of let it slide, plus a lot of things came up that kept me from really keeping up with it. Life has been a roller coaster for me these past like seven months, which is how long it’s been since I last blogged. Yeah, I know a long time.

freight-train-passing-over-the-steppe

A lot of things happened in those seven months. Two of my best friends moved to Arizona in the summer, then I lost my roommate and had to move back into the house I had lived in the previous summer, so I felt like I was freeloading on them. I then had to take a second job babysitting, then my boss got fired which made me realize I had to leave the job I loved before they decided to fire me too. I also learned that I had to move out of the house I was living in by the end of September. This meant either finding a new job, making my babysitting job full time and moving in with the family, or moving back home to the east side of the state. It was a very stressful and tough decision to make and it made the end of my summer very stressful.

In the end I made the decision to move back home. Considering how much I love Grand Rapids, and all my friends live there and I had swore to be independent the rest of my life, you may wonder why I decided to do this. I technically had a potential job lined up. The family I babysat for wanted me to be a live in nanny for them, it would have been perfect. Full time work and a place to live. I just didn’t know whether I wanted to live where I was working and have to watch kids practically 24/7. I was at a loss, I had no idea what to do. I hate making decisions like this. For the most part I just like to let things happen as they may. Plus, I’m never sure if I’m making the right decision and I’d almost rather not make a decision sometimes than make the wrong one.

Well one day when I was driving to work I kind of got hit by this like emotional freight train. I broke down right there in my car, started bawling. Which isn’t exactly a surprising thing for me but in that context it kind of was. Anyway it kind of made me realize how much stuff was really going on and how much I needed to make a decision and soon. I couldn’t keep putting it off or try to make excuses, I had to choose. The next week ended up being a huge fact finding journey. I called my mom, my sister, talked to some of my closest friends, and my boss. It was a lot to take in but everyone seemed to be saying what I had feared. I should move back home. Everything just kind of came together and I felt like maybe this was God’s way of telling me that it was time to move back home. To take time and figure out my life.

Well I’ve been home for almost 4 months now and I have yet to figure anything out. I’m working part time at minimum wage and I’m to lazy and frustrated to find anything better. I have this problem where once I start to settle into a job I don’t want to leave because I hate having to start the whole process over again. I don’t want to have to go somewhere new and have to meet new coworkers and get used to them, plus having to completely relearn something new. I’m more one of those people who likes to start from the bottom and work my way up in the same place. That’s what happened in my last job. I went from clerk to Assistant Manager, which I would never really want to go much higher then that, I like being somewhere in the middle. Having a little pull and power but not a lot.

Anyway, basically I’m kind of stuck in a rut right now. Just sort of fumbling around trying to figure out what to do. This post is just kind of a way to give some background. I wanted to start a blog where I could kind of talk about the things going on in my life that other people might be struggling with too. Plus talk about things I enjoy, like pop culture, movies, crafting, reading, etc. etc. So if you are reading this, I hope you’re ready to board the freight train headed straight for God knows where.

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Author:

An Introverted soul with a love for the extraordinary and ordinary. I have big dreams of publishing my own book or maybe one day opening a bakery/restaurant. My life however is constantly changing and just when I think I've figured things out, I get thrown a curve ball. I love writing, which is why I started this blog. I also love to engage in conversations with people about the things I love. So be prepared for a wide assortment of crazy :)

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